A Young Crackhead's Diary

Some People Call Me The Space Cowboy, Some People Clall Me The Gangster Of Love, Some People They Call Me Maurice....

Or How To Get Away With Having A Balloon Full Of Smack Up Your Anus.

23.07: Got Some Spoons. Sorry, But There Shall Be No Hidden Messages On This Page.

23.08: Got Some Syringes. There's Too Much Really, See? To write I mean. "Dudes".

23.26: Got Some Grade-B Crack. We Have Things to do, places to go, "people" to see.

23.30: Feelin' Fine J We can't be cooped up all day writing stupid shit so you can have a little happiness in your lives

23.31: The Walls Are Melting. No Really. it just wouldn't be US. I mean who would devote their life to a

23.35: Sure Is Cold Up Here. Pack of sad, pathetic deadbeats "surfing" the "net" all the live long day.

23.40: Feeling Sleepy. You make us sick. You really do. Like the hand of history on our shoulders.

23.45: Asleep. As Tony Blairs Always Says "I am creepy. And gay. Please don't tell my wife. Oh, I love her so much..

23.50: Still Asleep. He really makes us sick as parrots after a lager and curry chips binge in the salmonella capital of

00.40: Rats! They're Eating My Skin! the world.

00.41: False Alarm. It Was Only Vinny. Vinny Jones it is not. He's cooool. And vicious. And evil .

00.43: Got Vinny Back. He Won't Be Sitting Down In A While. Short MESSAGE SHORT MESSAGE SH

00.50: I Can See The Music. Ah, there's nothing like that first waffle in the morning is there? I can still taste

00.51: Vinny Turned Off The Music. The maple syrup on ym tongue. MMM. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to

00.52: Got Vinny Back. He Won't Be Standing Up In A While. Get waffles in Ireland. I mean, honestly

00.56: The Floor, The Floor Wants Me. Its IRELAND for christs sake, not Ethibleedinopia.

00.57: I Stand Up. WAFFLES I ADORE THEE!

00.58: I Can Fly! AND MAPLE SYRUP! THOU AREST MY BEST FRIEND!

00.59: I Can't Fly. But when the syrup starts spilling you know who's the first out of the room don't you? Politicians!

01.15: Vinny Is Gone! He's Probably Ratting Me Out. I'll Make Him Pay. Pay Good...Lazy Bastards!

01.20: Vinny's Back... Pols make me sick. ESPECIALLY Repubs. Those bastards are ruining the world. OUR WORLD.

01.21: Vinny's Asleep. Not any alien world either. EARTH! Of all the cheek. CTBT MY ASS! GIVE The UN ITS DUE!

01.22: Find Stick. Well, at least there's music in the world. Like Nirvana, and Ash. And Blur. And Phonics. And offsprin

01.24: Vinny Won't Be Breathing In A While. g. And the Presidents. And REM. Music ROCKS! People! Oh yeah!

01.24: Vinny Won't Wake Up.And if Ram had his way KORN and Chris De Burgh. Yeah. Hes a freak. Yeah.

01.25: So Very Tired. Oh, I almost forgot Greenday. Me and quacks likes themola. Oh YEAH! PEOPLE! Read me! Baby!

01.26: All Fun And No Play Makes Vinny A Dull Boy. Then there's games. Video and compu. No board for me.

01.27: Make Sure Vinny Isn't Lonely. NINTENDO AND RARE RULE! Mesa and quaksa agree. Ramsa likes Sony.

01.35: Vinny Isn't Lonely Anymore. THE BASTARD! Hes a sellout man. And the only reason he knows the joy of

01.50: Something Smells... Maybe Me. Rare and nintendo and 4player is because hes friendsa with mesaquacksa.

02.35: My Eyes. Burning! ASH ROCK! ESPECIALLY THEIR SONGS! But the chick fell out of the ugly tree and hit

02.36: Must Get Fire Extinguisher. Every branch on the way down. Not that looks affect music. But they do make

02.37: Eyes Not Burning. Girls "look" better. Not guys though. They're all ugly. No, I don't. I'm special. YES I AM!

02.38: Go For A Walk. Special like those special kids I am not. Im a really good special. I'm like a blueberry muffin.

02.50: Lie Down On Street. TASTY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Obviously muffins are tastier than me. They're

02.51: Try To Grab Large Middle-Aged Indian Woman. Tastier than everything except waffles. Really.

02.52: Large Middle-Aged Indian Woman Too Quick For Me. I only found out about them because theyre

02.53: Try To Grab Overweight Ugly Frenchman. In the shell station near my school. But they're ripoffs.

02.54: Frenchman's Onions Too Much For Me. £2.29 for a sandwich and then they don't even put enough Mayo

02.55: Frenchman Is Too Ugly. Or Branston pickle in. Shameful. But I make the tastiest sandwiches in the world.

02.56: He Knocks Me Out With A Baguette. Bread first. Then lettuce. Then generous dollops of mayo. And

04.35: Wake Up In River.then comes the pepper. But then come the grated corned beef grates. Then comes the

04.36: Still In River. Mustard. Then comes grated cheese. Vinegar may be added if I feel like it. Just a bit mind.

04.37: Not In River. Have Headache. I love my sandwiches. They're big enough for a meal. Or I can have half

04.38: Find Dog. Try To Make Sure Dog Isn't Lonely.as a snack. MMMMM. Now if only I could fine some

04.39: Dog Too Quick For Me. Meatballs and marinara sauce.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now THAT would be NICE!

04.40: Go To A Party. People Laugh. With Me Or At Me? Y'know what. I'm going to make a sandwich

04.41: Get Kicked Out. Better Off Without Them... right now. As soon as this done. I hope its as tasty as

04.42: See Dog Again. Dog Is Too Quick For Me. Again. It is normally. Mmmmm. That's a tasty sandwich!

04.50: Dumpster Reminds Me Of Home. I also like tacos. Well, burritos. I love them so. But theyre SO tasty!

04.51: I Meet Mother. Mother Is Too Quick For Me. Wow. This is really getting boring.

05.12: See A Sheep. Not Too Quick For Me. Sheep Isn't Lonely Anymore. Im hungry. And I want a

05.15: I Like Strawberries. And Lollipops, And Those Biscuits...sandwich.

05.20: Uggghghhhhhghghgh So sorry to say that the hm's will have to end here. That is unless you could uh..

05.25: Do Not Choke On My Own Vomit. Day Is Looking Up. "recompense" me for it. You rich pigs.

05.30: Pink Elephant Is Very Rude. Do Not Like Him. Give a peasant a penny. Penny sir?...Lousy cheapskate.

05.31: Brown Derby Is Much More Friendly. My Kind Of Guy. Yes, we're all peasants here in Ireland.

07.27: Wake Up At Home. Yes, Potato eating peasants. And children are starving here. Like Luanne said.

07.28: Get Ready. *hunger strikes*BOOMDABOOMBOOM. Shreddies suck

07.35: Go To Work. Pompt de pompt pompt. Awhee awhee ahwy haw. Je nais pompt a une baguette. If you're a fluent

08.05: Am At Work. French speaker like me, the world may seem a strange and forbidding place. Well, don't fear

08.10: Get Promoted. Froggie. You make EVERYONE sick!

08.15: "Coke Is It". Need Better Slogan. Don't fear. As we near the end of this immature rant people are

08.20: "Coke. You Want It Because Your Weak." Starving. Everywhere. OUCH. That hurts. Man. Really. SOB

09.20: Yawn. That's Sob is in Boo hoo (crying) not as in Son ofa b I t c h . What was that? I didn't hear anything.

10.20: Still Waiting. Remember kids, try not to pay attention to any of the swearing in wyrdland. Its load bearing

11.20: I'm On Top Of The World. Not Literally. Swearing so it OK. Just remember that. FART!

12.20: Something About Mirrors. I wish we could use REALLY REALLY dirty words like we do in real life. But the

13.20: This Can't Go On Much Longer. Lawyers say we cant. We're worse than sailors. And we're considered

23.07: Get Some Spoons... polite here. REALLY!. You should hear IRISH sailors speak. They can make milk curdle

At least we're not Australians. Wow. Parents shield your childrens ears from Aussie sailors mouths. SPANKIN GORGEOUS!

POT NOODLE POT NOODLES POT NOODLES POT NOODELS PTO NCODDLE POT NOODLES POT NODLES JUNK!

 

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