…Man Was A Solitary Moose Hunter Back In The Days When Sheep Weren't The Only Dominant Species In Wyrdland And Moose Ruled With Them. Man Presumed That He Was The Best Moose Hunter In The World But He Couldn't Know For Sure For Two Reasons 1. He Was The Only Moose Hunter In Wyrdland And 2. He Had No Way Of Communicating With Other Civilisations Because The Only Computer In Wyrdland Was Owned And Used Only By The God Moose (He Wasn't Very Good At Sharing).

Anyway Man Wanted To Find Out Exactly How Good He Was At Hunting So He Devised A Plan Assassinate The God Moose. Coincidentally The Night That Man Would Assassinate The God Moose Was On The Night Of A Once In A Hundred Years Full Moon. Little Did Man Know That If The God Moose Was Killed On The Night Of A Once In A Hundred Years Full Moon That The Murderer Would Turn Into The Mythical And Greatly Feared Weremoose Which Only Moosekind Knew Of. Seen As Though Only The Legendary Vilhelm And The God Moose Could Speak The Language Of The Three Humans On The Island (Man, Ramuh And Happydubo) The Moose Could Only Look On Helplessly As This Greatly Feared Prophesy Was Fulfilled.

The Hunter Waited For The Night That Would See The End Of The God Moose. Mans Plan Was Cleverly Devised So That The God Moose Would Not Suspect A Thing. You See Two Years Ago Man Stumbled Upon The Secret Location Where The God Moose Had His Annual Antler Bleaching And Only Two People Knew Of The Location And Time Where The Bleaching Took Place, The God Moose Himself And The Antlerdresser. The Night Had Come When The God Moose Had To Die Man Burst Into The Room With Machineguns A Blazing Which Scared The Antlerdresser To Death. The God Moose Was Outraged And A Fierce Battle Took Place Between The God Moose And Man. Luckily Man Came Out Of The Battle Triumphant And The God Moose's Body Was A Bloody Mess. Man Felt Extremely Tired So He Decided To Leave Finding Out His Moose Hunting Skills Until The Next Night.

The Next Morning Man Was Very Stiff But He Convinced Himself That The Excitement Of Using The God Moose's Computer To Discover His World Ranking Had Got To Him.

He Decided To Depart For The Moose Kingdom Regardless Of His Stiffness. Luckily For Man The Moose People Did Not Even Think That He Could Be Dead As He Was Going To Visit Vilhelm The Legendary Cow Of Wyrdland To Get Some Anti-Ageing Cream (The God Moose Was Very Vain). Man Snuck Into The God Moose's Computer Room Just Seconds Before Nightfall. As He Switched On The Computer He Felt A Strange Tingling All Over His Body. He Fobbed It Off As Excitement But As He Was About To Go Online He Noticed That His Skin Was Turning To Moose Hair (Well It Was Hardly Sheep Hair). He Looked In The God Moose's Mirror And To His Horror He Saw That He Was Turning Into Some Kind Of Moose Man . He Spent The Entire Night Eating Small Sheep And Berries.

The Next Morning He Work Up With The Most Awful Headache He Didn't Remember Everything About The Previous Night But He Did Remember That He Had Turned Into A Weremoose Which Was 10ft. Tall And Had 1 Inch Long Pointed Teeth And A Foaming Mouth. He Decided To Go To His Amigo, Ramuh For Some Aadvice. Ramuh Told Him To Find Vilhelm, The Legendary Cow Of Wyrdland. Man Took Ramuh's Advice And Ventured The Plains Of Wyrdland In Search For Vilhelm. After Three Hours He Collapsed With Thirst And Before Him Came The Ghostly Figure Of The Last God Sheep Of Wyrdland, Man Checked His Breath For Traces Of Alcohol But There Were None This Was Really Happening He Listened Very Carefully To What The Ghost Told Him. It Said "Man…………You Must Go To The Wyrdish Mountains There You Will Find Vilhelm The Great Cow Of Wyrdland.

Man Spent Another Hour In Search Of Vilhelm (Time Passes Differently In Wyrdland) In The Wyrdish Mountains When To His Great Fortune He Stumbled Upon A Cave Where To His Great Delight He Found Vilhelm. He Begged Vilhelm For A Cure For The Condition, Which He Had Unwillingly Inherited From The God Moose. Vilhelm Told Man To Kill All Moosekind In Wyrdland And To Drink Some Toilet Water To Cure His Condition He Was Warned That The Drinking Of The Toilet Water Might Have Some Side-Effects That Could Be Cured With Some Tablets That Were Given To Man.

Man Set Out Again But He Had To Go To The Loo First So He Went Home And Left His Tablets On The Kitchen Table While He Went To Go Pee. He Went Out The Door, Heading For The Moose Kingdom Forgetting His Tablets. He Brought A Rifle With Him To The Kingdom And When He Arrived He Reeked Havoc (His Aftershave) On The Moose People. An Hour Later He Had Finished And He Had Buried All The Moose People In Graves As A Mark Of Respect.

On His Way Home He Came Upon A Public Toilet And He Went In And Drank The Water As Vilhelm Had Instructed Him To. As Vilhelm Had Predicted Some Side-Effects Took Place, Man Grew Feathers, Wings, Webbed Orange Feet And A Ducks Bill.

Man Reached For His Pocket For The Tablets That Vilhelm Had Given Him But They Weren't There, He Suddenly Remembered That They Were Left On His Kitchen Table At Home. He Then Realised That He Would Have To Walk Home Looking Like A Duck. He Opened The Door Of The Toilet And To His Shame The Village Sheep Noticed Who He Was. They Laughed And Mocked Him (As If He Was Crap Sheep) They All Decided To Give Him The New Name Quackman Because Of His Resemblance To A Duck. He Walked On Telling Them All That He Would Not Look Like A Duck Forever But They Didn't Care They All Agreed That Quackman Sounded A Lot Better Than Man. They Even Had The God Sheep Declare That He Would No Longer Be Known As Man But He Would Be Called Quackman And That Would Never Change.