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Babysitting Do's And Don'ts
Do NOT Use Knives As Chew Toys!
Baby Is NOT A TOY!
You Break It, You Bought IT!
Brillo Pads Do NOT Care For Baby's Skin!
Baby Does NOT Bounce!
Do NOT Test Baby's Abilities To Fly/Swim
Baby CanNOT Defend Itself In The Wild!
Shaking Baby Does Not Relieve Tension!
A Staircase Is NOT A Suitable Environment For Baby!
Dog Food Is NOT A Substantial Food Group!
Baby Is NOT Allowed Through Customs!
Baby Is NOT A Piñata!
You Find It, You Eat Is NOT A Good Motto For Baby!
Sneaking Up On Baby And Shouting Leaves Emotional Scars!
Baby Does NOT Enjoy Marilyn Manson Concerts!
Smoking Is NOT One Of Baby's Hobbies!
Doping Up Is NOT One Of Baby's Hobbies!
Baby Is NOT A Chew Toy!
Feed Baby At Least Once A Week!
Baby Crying Is NOT A Good Sign!
Do NOT Throw Baby Out With The Trash!
Bar Brawls Are NOT An Educational Experience For Baby!
Do Not Include Razor Blades In Baby's Food!
Baby Is NOT A Member Of The Yakuza!
Baby Is NOT The Re-incarnated Spirit Of Genghis Kahn!
Baby Is NOT A Freemason!
Do NOT Bury Baby!
Baby Is NOT Wanted Dead Or Alive!
Give Baby A Chance To Defend Its Actions!
Do NOT Perform The Heimlich Manoeuvre On Baby's Neck!
Baby Does Not Enjoy Bunjee- jumping!
Baby Does NOT Enjoy Raves!
Baby Does NOT Want You To Perform Euthanasia!
Baby ENJOYS Being Alive!
Baby Is NOT Plotting To Kill You!
Six Babies Minus Two Babies Does NOT Equal An Easier Job!
Baby Does NOT Enjoy Sand-paper Body Rubs!
Liposuction Is NOT Good For Baby!
Baby's Parents Wanted You To Take Care Of Him, NOT " Take Care Of Him"!
Baby Is NOT A Light Snack!
Baby Does NOT Fit In The Blender!
Do NOT Dry Baby In The Microwave!
Do NOT "Cryogenically" Freeze Baby In The Freezer!
Do NOT Feed Baby Excessive Amounts Of Ketchup!
Baby Does NOT Enjoy Salt In His Eyes!
Do NOT Get "Competitive" While Playing With Baby!
Baby Enjoys Days At The Beach, NOT Days UNDER The Beach!
Reservoir Dogs is NOT The Same As Sesame Street!
Acid causes Baby To Melt!
Baby Is NOT To Be Used As A Battering Ram!
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